Folk, It’s been a while! I have tried to keep my cool and not “explode”. So much has been working on me here lately but, I think I am finally back to my “old” self! hehehe (and I mean old!)
You see, I have been down and out for years with so many health problems. Finally, finally, I am feeling so much better. The spinal simulator is doing its job!! YAY!!! I just haven’t wanted to say too much for fear it would back fire. I’m not used to NOT having pain…I am just amazed. I have been in horrific pain since 2004, now here it is 2013 and I’m down to just about pain-free? I mean sure, at my age people have aches and pains but that is nothing. I can live with that, I even expect to have that, but I can walk, sit, stand, move around! It’s a shame that we take the little things in life for granted. I can tell you from experience, it’s amazing what the body can go through on a daily basis…
Anyway, I just don’t know how to express my thanks to Dr. Dayton-Jones, Dr. McGovern, Todd and everyone at St. Jude’s, and all the nurses, and nurse practitioners that have (and still) work with me. I still have a way to go to get rid of all the pain medications but it’s getting there!!
Now, with all that being said, I want people to understand that when your body seems to be letting you down, your mind soon follows. Is it depression? Could be. I’m sure some of it is but when you can’t even take care of your own daily needs without having help, and you are in your late 40’s and early 50’s, it’s depressing. I went through stages of being mad, hurt, upset, felt sorry for myself, and yes…depressed. Why I would ask. Why would the Lord allow me to “live” like this? It wasn’t living, just existing. I was no good to anyone, including myself. Then I thought…write. I always wanted to write, thought I could just sit to the computer and just do it. And…I did do it. I wrote, and wrote, and wrote.
Now, just because I wrote all these words, doesn’t mean it was ready to be a book! Months and months went into reading, changing, re-reading, changing, spelling, deleting so many of the same word, changing paragraphs, and then…getting someone to read it! Whew…I did it! (So I thought!) More changing, more corrections, more rearranging paragraphs. I was ready to send my “baby” to a publisher! Excited just doesn’t quite express the excitement I experienced, I knew I had a winner!
Then the wait, and the wait, and the wait. Being a first time writer, you never know what to expect. You think you have taken almost a year of your life writing, changing, working and instantly a publisher should say, “Oh my, what a great piece of work. Of course we will publish this right away!” HAHAHA Let me tell you, things are just beginning. The rejections, the well, we have so many books similar to this that we just can’t do this now and the out-and-out NO’s. One day, when you lease expect it, you get a call, “We are willing to publish your book.” You ask, “Who is this, really?” You wonder if you really hear those words and ask the person on the other end to repeat themselves. It is really going to happen! Your baby is going to be in print, you did it! Glad that’s done! Little did I know, that again was another new beginning. I had no idea just how much work goes into publishing, promoting, and just advocating for your own work. Then I wondered if I was just foolish to think that anything I would write would be interesting to anyone else. The roller coaster ride is just unbelievable. The general public that “read” our works really have absolutely no idea what goes into being an author. I certainly didn’t. Sometimes my brain actually hurts. I have to take a break and just get away from it. Then there are times when I just can’t stop. Seems my characters won’t stop running their mouths! Back and forth, back and forth…if anyone was around me they would know I was ready for a straight jacket. But, after all this, I can’t quit. I have to continue what I have started. My heart tells me this is what I need to do, my brain tells me to get off my butt and write, my family thinks I should write, so…as good or bad as it may be, I am going to continue to do what I love to do….WRITE!!!
The moral to this long story is…DON’T EVER GIVE UP! Coming from the place I have been, to where I am today has only happened because of my faith, my family, and my wonderful friends. Thank you to all of you! I hope I will be able to help you promote your work, just as you are mine! Together, we will make this happen!!! (Didn’t someone say this already???)