Change

THANKS TO JANE CARROLL’S , “BERTHA SIZE YOUR LIFE” I can honestly say, Bertha certainly has had an impact on me…
Read below and you will understand:

I’m getting older. Life is moving on. I’m sitting, laying, reading, watching television, doing nothing. Why? Pain. Sleepy. The main reason? I think I’m feeling sorry for myself. Then, out of the blue, I meet Bertha. What a wild lady. Now she knows how to live.

As we age, there are always going to be those days when we just don’t feel like doing much, and that’s okay. Just don’t let it become a habit. Getting older is just another phase in “growing up”. The children leave, get married, have children of their own, come back home, leave again, and the cycle continues. Bertha would tell you to STOP. Do what is right for you. If you want the kids back home, that’s YOUR choice. If you don’t, tell them to stand on their own two feet just like you have had to do.

If you want to get your hair cut, (simple thing I know), do it. Don’t get it “trimmed” because your significant other will get mad, get it cut! So guess what???? I did! And I mean I got it cut. The gal shaved the back of my head! She asked me if I got the back shaved. I told her yes, thinking she meant the neck. I have so much trouble with the heat (you gals know the age!!) so I get the neck shaved down. Well, she shaved me from the neck UP. Oh dear Lord. I knew my husband would have a fit. Sure enough, he was as mean as a snake for a week. I finally had to put my foot down and explain to him that it was HAIR. For the Lord’s sake, it will grow back but for now, this was the way it will be. And truth be told, I may keep it that way. Bertha would like that…

I came home yesterday with my new glasses. Bertha, you really will like these. They are larger, purple front, and leopard print sides, plastic frames. Do you think that started something? Whew, my husband doesn’t handle change at all. You know those homes that have the wagon wheels at the end of the driveways? Well, I should have them there. Meaning, the wagon broke down and that’s where we stayed. My husband has lived in three places in his 59 years. He has lived with his parents, his first wife, and here with me. He has worked two jobs, the company he is with now, and then had his own business, and then the company he worked for begged him to come back, so he did. So, you can see, change isn’t his thing. Okay, back to the glasses, he looked at me, shook his head, and said, “I didn’t like those type glasses when they were in style years ago, and I don’t like them now.” I looked him square in the face and said, “I’m sorry, but I do”. He asked me what in the world was going on with me here lately. I told him I was listening to Bertha. He wanted to know who in the hell was Bertha! I just laughed. I told him, she was just a new friend of mine. He told me she was certainly causing me to act like I did years ago. “Is that a bad thing”, I asked. “Well, no, I guess, it’s just that you have been in the bed, laying around on the couch, not really doing much for so long because you feel so bad that I’m a little confused.” I explained that I have decided that I can do what I have been doing; getting the same result or I can put on my big girl panties on and move. I have many disease processes going on and I have to live with them. I can let them define me or I can return to the person I was, enjoy life and rest when I need to, move when I can, and push myself just a little more. Hopefully, that will give me more energy, strengthen my bones and muscles, and cause my self-worth to improve. (Hey Bertha, how do you like that?)

I was out and about all day yesterday. I had so many doctor appointments; it should be against the law. What happened to the days when you went to one doctor, he told you what was wrong, treated you, and sent you on your merry way? Good grief, now, you go to one for a sniffle, one for a backache, one for a stomach ache, one for a headache, and so on. I have to see a neurologist for the migraines, a rheumatologist for the osteoporosis and chronic fatigue, an orthopedist for the pulled ligaments, sprains, and breaks, primary for the blood work for the thyroid and blood cell counts, and pain management for the chronic pain and reflex sympathy dystrophy, or do I see the orthopedist for that, hmmm, guess I better check on that. Anyway, there isn’t a calendar large enough for all these appointments. Oh, and in between all this, I have to go to physical therapy. I have to pay someone to move my ankle from side to side and around in a circle! I don’t get it. Really, I can do that at home but nooooo, I might do it wrong! How can you do it wrong? I need to talk to Bertha. I know she will have an answer for me.

My sister said to me this morning that she missed the old me. She liked the me that on a whim would just take off on a road trip. I told her she was coming back. I just had to get a week when I didn’t have four doctor appointments. I had told her about my new friend and she told me I needed to talk with her. She said you know what Bertha would do. She would just cancel them for a week. What are you going to miss out on, spending all that money is all. All those doctors are going to do is take your money, tell you they think you are doing good since last week and they will see you in three weeks. In three weeks, they are just going to say the exact same thing, unless another problem arises. Oh my goodness, I hope not. Enough is enough. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and that the Lord doesn’t give us any more than what we can handle. I hope he knows that I am at my limit. I may not find out why I have been dealt this hand until I meet with him but you best believe I’m going to be in the front of the line and that is going to be my first question, “Why?”

Now, I’m not the type to dwell on all the surgeries and stuff. After all, they fixed me up. I mean, I’ve had 30+ in my years. Ten or so in the last nine years but they fixed problems. People ask me all the time how in the world I handle having to go through so much. Trust me, that isn’t the problem. The surgeries I have had have been easy for me. The major ones took a little longer to get through but I did and haven’t had problems since. I don’t look at those as a bad thing. (See, I do listen Bertha) It’s when the doctor doesn’t know what’s wrong so they send you to another doctor, then they send you to another, then another…. But, like I said, I guess as long as I go to all these “specialist”, I guess my problems will all be taken care of.

In the meantime, I am going to “change”. I am going to go back to the “real” me. I am going to remember who I used to be, the person I used to like, the class clown, the helpful, take care of those less fortunate person and STOP the “whoa” is me attitude. And all of this “attitude” change is thanks to Bertha, my new best friend.

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17 thoughts on “Change

    • Dianna,
      I’m telling you, you wouldn’t be sorry!!! I can’t tell you in words, how I feel so much more like “myself”!!

      • Dianna, that’s what I’m afraid of and believe you me, I really have to lose weight before that happens!! hahaha

  1. I love this Terri. It takes a lot of strength and courage to go back to the person we once was. I think the person you are now is pretty darn terrific! Bertha would think so too. 🙂

  2. Terri,

    I am so excited for you…you’re on fire…and have great hair and glasses! I am truly humbled to have been a part of your journey. Blessings and great pedicures!

    • When my son came over to work on the stock car last night, he came in to see me because he wanted to see what else I had done different! He said he was so glad to see me “acting” so much more like myself! I told him I was on a mission. I was going to act like I did 20 years ago!!! He gave me a two thumbs up!!

  3. Once you meet Bertha, you are never the same…she and I connected totally years ago…she’s a friend “on Call” can’t have any better friend than that…and she has such good taste in…Everything !

    • AMEN!!! Bea, I couldn’t agree more!!! I don’t think I have EVER, read a book where a character has ever effected me so much. Bertha is as real as any person I have ever met!! I love her, she has become my very best friend!!

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